So Britney Spears, former child superstar turned bubblegum pop minx turned mum of two turned slightly skanky mum of two has shaved her hair, much to the amusement of Heat readers and the delight of paparazzi who can hear cash tills ringing.
And if that isn’t bad enough, the Hairdresser is selling her hair and the can of Red Bull that she was drinking. Let’s put aside the fact that instead of laughing at her that perhaps it was a cry for help. Anyway I’m not a psychotherapist, but this whole event did remind me of an excellent book by Chuck Palahniuk “Survivor”, a great read should you need a new book, and an interesting view of what it is to become a celebrity in modern times.
And finally I’d like to make the observation that all of these celebrities that go nuts seem to have one thing in common - Red Bull. I read somewhere that before being admitted in to rehab, Robbie Williams was drinking twenty cans a day. TWENTY? Given that each can of Red Bull has THREE times the caffeine of a can of coke, which itself has something like twice the caffeine of a cup of coffee, Robbie was consuming something like 120 cups of coffee a day, or 5 an hour, which you clearly can do 24-7 as with that much caffeine in your system sleep isn’t an option! This, combined with the taurine, a compound that is supposed to make you more alert, has the potential to (according to this site) “cause anxiety, irritability, high sensitivity to noise and self-mutilisation tendencies”! What did Britney do after shaving her hair? Get a tattoo! What does Robbie have? Lots of tattoos, possibly TWENTY times the tattoos that Britney has, because he drinks twenty times the Red Bull!
So there you have it, some might conclude that Red Bull is the cause of madness in these celebs. I am now off to do further statistical analysis of the correlation between madness, tattoos and obscenely dangerous energy drinks.
February 23rd, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Red Bull is evil, Tattoos are evil. The correlation is there for all to see. Ban both, I say, and thrown in the evil that is chewing gum whilst you’re at it. Britney, Robbie et al will thank us in the long run.
February 23rd, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Chewing gum? Hmm interesting I hadn’t thought of that one. I will include that in my statistical analysis.
I would also like to point out before Red Bull take legal action that the dog told me to do it, before he ate my homework. Mmmm coffeeee…