I was mostly wondering this morning how long you could get away with running a Ninja Training School
Posted by: Matt in general
The nice thing about training people in a secret art is that those being trained have no knowledge of what the training will consist of. So I could charge £20 an hour to train them to balance on one leg or camouflage themselves in a dining room.
Of course the local police would probably be displeased to hear of a training school for oriental assassins, but then once they saw what I was actually doing then they would probably go away laughing.
“So what exactly are you doing here, Sir?”
“Can’t you read, this is Leicester’s only Ninja Training Academy.”
“So you train Ninjas?”
“I congratulate you on you perceptivity, Officer.”
“And what exactly is a Ninja, Sir?”
“That, officer, I cannot say, for it is against the code of the Ninja, the prescribed path of which lights my way through this life.”
“Would it be fair to say that they are Assassins?”
“Ninja is Sino-Japanese compound derived from the two kanji (Japanese characters of Chinese origin) used to write shinobi-no-mono, one of the native Japanese words for people who practice ninjutsu (sometimes erroneously spelled ninjitsu).
The underlying connotation of shinobi (pronounced nin in Sino-Japanese compounds) is ‘to do quietly’ or ‘to do so as not to be perceived by others’ and—by extension—’to forebear,’ hence its association with stealth and invisibility. Mono (likewise pronounced sha or ja) means ‘person.’ The nin of ninjutsu is the same as that in ninja, whereas jutsu means skill or art, so ninjutsu means ‘the skill of going unperceived’ or ‘the art of stealth’; hence, ninja and shinobi-no-mono (as well as shinobi) may be translated as ‘one skilled in the art of stealth.’ Similarly, the pre-war word ninjutsu-zukai means ‘one who uses the art of remaining unperceived.’
According to legend, Ninja were said to be agents of espionage and assassination in feudal Japan. Some modern practitioners of budo ninjutsu argue that ninja were used primarily as spies, not assassins; and this appears to be borne out by some historical records. Ninja are said to have made use of weapons that could be easily concealed or disguised as common tools. Weapons commonly attributed to them included shuriken and bo. In popular folklore, ninja also used special short swords called ninja-ken (or ninja-tÅ see below for explanation). Ninja-ken are smaller than katana but larger than wakizashi. The ninja-to was more of a utilitarian tool than a weapon. Another version of the ninja sword was the shikoro ken (saw sword). The shikoro ken was said to be used to gain entry into fortresses. The shikoro ken supposedly could also be used to cut (or saw) through opponents
Legend suggests that they are men and women (a female ninja is called a kunoichi), trained to the pinnacle of mental and physical fitness, able to move silently, kill without warning leaving no trace of their presence. Common myth suggests an arduous path to becoming Ninja, mastering many skills and weapons.”
“Thank you sir. And so you are the teacher at this school?”
“I am the jÅnin, yes.”
“And that would be one of your students?”
“Yes, indeed.”
“And what Ninja skill is he learning balancing a plate on his head whilst humming the theme to The Great Escape?”
“Patience and humility.”
“Good day, Sir”
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