I talk a lot about coaching and coaching techniques on this blog, and yet I’ve never actually talked about being coached. So I thought I would.
I do this on the eve of my last coaching session for my course, which itself is a coaching course, and as this is a “learning by doing” course, it comes with a number of coaching sessions to help me discuss and overcome any obstacles as I’ve encountered new situations and people.
So over the last year I’ve had quite a lot of coaching of one type or another, and when I look back to a year or so ago I can see elements in me then that aren’t there now. A lot of negativity has been cleared out and I am so much clearer on what I want to do with myself, today, tomorrow and in the future.
One of the great things about having a coach is having someone to talk to who is completely interested in you and believes in you. That in itself is a precious thing. For that hour or two hours I get to talk about the things that are bothering me or holding me back with someone who doesn’t dispute them or think they are stupid. Because they aren’t not to me, they are real and limiting and occupy my thoughts.
And so when I tell my coach what I want he listens intently and then begins to understand what stops me from getting it. All of the time he is there to help me get what I want whether it is what he wants or already has. As we discuss this is becomes clear that many of the things that hold me back are just self-limiting beliefs that I’ve put in place for some reason that isn’t relevant anymore. At no point do we talk about the past. The past is not only gone, it may have never happened like that at all, our memory of things becomes quite selective when there’s emotion involved.
And so it is often with surprise that I realise that the thing I thought was holding me back is pretty easy to shift, or not quite the obstacle I thought it was. Because my Coach believes that I am capable of a lot more than I think I am. Because he doesn’t have to agree with all of the things I’ve built up as reasons why not, he can help me work out how can I?
And often I leave the session with my head spinning. When stuff you thought was true turns out to be just an assumption, your map of the world changes and new possibilities open up. New possibilities to do things differently, better, or to make things happen that you have been telling yourself you couldn’t possibly have, or didn’t deserve. It’s an odd process, because it happens all the time, albeit usually in extreme circumstances. So to have such realisations after a nice chat can be quite surprising.
And yet the me that leaves the session is different to the one that went in. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing depends on my intentions, after all it’s me who decides what new possibilities to take advantage of.
