watch tHe skies

Thanks for all of the emails suggesting that I stop posting and hand the blog over to Andy, my over-qualified, under-utilised mate whose giant intellect is clearly wasted in IT. He should have his own show. This week he explains to us a little about evolution, specifically, even though we are evolved from apes, how come monkeys aren’t human yet?

“Some would consider monkeys more human than humans! I would disagree on the grounds that, they sit around in cages in zoos flicking pooh at each other.

The reason monkeys are not humans yet is because the genes controlling hairiness, language and love of bananas are not yet ’switched on’. Early trials using gene therapy have had limited success, the best example being the bloke from Simply Red. He scored well on language, fairly well on hairyness [his urang oo tang (trans. ‘man with wood’) genes shone through there], however his craving of bananas eventually runied him.”

Honestly, he does have a pHd, in microwave transmissions or something.

Don’t ask me to explain the cat theme, but here he is again in arguably the only interesting posts on the site. Still, here it is, more scientific buffoonery from the over qualified and under-engaged Andy, explaining Schroedinger’s Cat theory.

“Schroedinger puts a cat in a box. he never liked cats.
He threatens it for a little while. Cat gets hungry and meows.
Cat molester considers poisoning cat. Cat goes quiet.
Schroedinger suddenly has an inspirational idea about particle duality and ponders on the coexistence of two simillar subatomic particles.
Schroedinger smells cat wee and puts cat outside.

An unusual fact about Schroedinger. He invented potato waffles.”

I wonder who exactly paid him to do a pHd? The tellytubbies probably.

So Andy, long-time mate and godfather to my child (!) knows lots of stuff about science, and he has volunteered to share this with you, my reader. Did I say reader? Of course I meant readers.

Occasionally I’ll post his pearls of wisdom here, and the world will become a better place.

“A dog’s bark is actually the reverse of a cats meow. If a dog and a cat bark and meow simutaneously they will cancel each other out. Fact.”

There you go. More science to follow… Watch this space.