watch tHe skies

I saw this email and thought of you…

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first ppointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dentistry diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, i quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, i asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school.

“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1959. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!”, I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely, and then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked, “What did you teach?”

Man I’m busy today, so busy in fact that I’m afraid I haven’t had the chance to create a post today. However, my mate Andy is complaining of being bored today so I sent him five sure fire ways to relieve office boredom. I thought they were funny so I decided to share them with you.

1) Announce to the office that for the remainder of the day your name is Mr Yakamoto and then speak pigeon english. If there are any Japanese speakers in the office pretend to be Malaysian.

2) Make a necklace of paper clips. if this doesnt relieve the boredom, make matching earrings and actually pierce your ears.

3) Think of a really obscure TV theme tune and hum it over and over again. refuse to tell anyone what it is.

4) Invent a new swear word

5) Announce to everyone that for the remainder of the day you will LIE when asked any question.

If you have any good additions, let me know, however be sure to back up your ideas with proof of their actual ability to relieve boredom….

My brother is a Health and Safety Manager… yes that means I have to wear goggles if helping him put up shelves but the upside is some funny \ horrific slides of workplace safety. The following pictures are examples of what gets the belly laughs at a Health and Safety conference…

    

I’m off on holiday this week so I thought I’d leave you with some comedy exam answers. Hit more to enjoy and I’ll see you next week… (more…)

Thanks to my bro who sent these to me:

• Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
• Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? (more…)

Sent to me by Giles. I think I’m getting a subscription for Christmas.

Thanks to Andy for this. Comedy.

…but if they did….

Made me laugh, so I thought, as a giver, I would share…