Helping people to make change, lasting change that really improves the quality of their lives, requires a great deal of trust and rapport between client and coach. After all, much of the work is done at an unconscious level, even without hypnosis. So being able to develop that trust quickly is very important. (There’s more on rapport specifically here.) Trust also develops when the client believes the coach to be competent and experienced, and a great way to demonstrate that is to be able to tell the client things about themselves that imply a “seen this before” experience in the coach. This maybe the case, or it may be a generalisation, or it might actually be cold reading.
So what is cold reading? Well Ian Rowland in his book describes it thus, “Cold reading is a deceptive psychological strategy. Among other things, it can be used by someone who is not psychic to give what seem to be a very convincing psychic readings. Cold reading is neither one single technique, nor one single procedure. It is better to think of ‘cold reading’ as the collective term for a set of techniques which can be used in different contexts to achieve different goals.”
Effectively it is a method of using ambiguity based on high probability statistics combined with elaborate wording and plenty of bravado on the part of the cold reader to handle any objections that come his way during the process.
Now I’m not going to say that this is what Psychics use. I neither know the answer to that question or feel the need to pursue an answer. I can, however, say with some conviction that i’m not pyschic. So cold reading could come in handy for me, and for many of you out there who want to communicate more effectively, persuade, influence or whatever you want to call it.
And should you be so inclined, Ian Rowland’s book would be a good place to start. He provides numerous example tools and techniques that can be used to deliver convincing “psychic” readings that would have many people threatening to burn you at the stake. The information is delivered in a matter of fact way, with examples of what works and what doesn’t, and methods to elaborate and really go to town with this stuff. The tone of the book and his view on the ‘psychic’ aspect is explained neatly by this quote, “I am not remotely interested in trying to ‘explain things away’, and nor is any other sceptic I have ever met. For me, being sceptical boils down to one thing: I like to believe in things that are true, and to avoid believing in things which turn out to be complete rubbish.’
He goes on to explain the “Cream principle” - offering a little information to get a reaction, and then gradually upping the ante as the client reacts and provides valuable feeback, both verbally and non-verbally, to the skilled observer, as well as the beauty of being ambiguous with time - whether you have this skill or the potential to have it, etc., etc..
I was surprised (though I shouldn’t really have been) to read that the process of cold reading effectively mirrors that of a coaching scenario which can, of course be generalised in to good practice for any communication, from advertising to a sales call.
He then provides some transcripts of cold readings that he has done, which allow you to spot the various techniques and phrases in his book, within the wider context of an actual dialogue. This is followed by tactics to block the cold reader from working on you, and finishing with his views on the practical applications of cold reading in the real world, such as selling and romance.
All in all I found this to be a fascinating book with many applications. It’s not one to read cover to cover, but to flick through, to try stuff out and return to at some later date to learn something new.
And of course I couldn’t possibly post this without providing you with my own psychic reading for your pleasure. So keep reading if you would like me to tell you something about yourself, and I’d love to know how accurate it is!
Your Reading, by Matty the Splendificent, renowned divinist and wonder-psychic
There is an inherent capacity here for neatness and tidiness and order, which is to your credit, but at the same time I can see some indications that this capacity does not always prevail, and you can, in some circumstances - mmm, how shall I put this delicately? - appear a little deserted by this instinct?!
Now, take a moment to relax, deep breath, good, that’s right. I am starting to get something, let it happen, good.
There is an indication that you have quite a well-developed psychic sense in your own right. You’re probably the type of person who will be thinking about someone you haven’t heard from in a while, and then out of the blue they phone you at
that very moment!
Now moving on to you… hmmm. Interesting. If you are honest about it, do you often get to wondering what happened to all those dreams you had when you were younger; all those wonderful ambitions you held dear, and plans which once mattered to you. I suspect that deep down, there is a part of you that sometimes wants to just scrap everything, get out of the rut, and start over again - this time doing things your way. I feel in some ways that you have become very defensive, almost as if you’re locked up in your own secure little castle. This is a shame, because you’re blocking yourself off from a lot of light, and love, that could be yours. There are indications here of a need to learn to take a broader look at life, and to be more open to new ideas - even if they may seem strange at first. You know, you won’t come to any harm if you lower your defences a little, and take a peek at the insights on offer. Who knows, you might find a few of the answers you’ve been
looking for!
Opening up a little more will effect how others see you - you are someone who can generally be trusted. I’d say perhaps this person is that little bit more honest and conscientious than many people tend to be. Not a saint, not perfect, but let’s just say that when it really matters, you do understand the importance of being trustworthy. I feel an energy suggesting you have good values which you try to live up to, although it has to be said you perhaps don’t always succeed.
I see indications of strong domestic instincts which have been allowed to flourish, and which have brought you a sense of security and stability which is a source of great strength to you, and also very much to your credit. Not everyone can be a good home-maker, but you can, and you are. However, the stability and the stimulation of this life has also brought its penalties. Although you would not necessarily advertise them too openly, I sense some feelings here of a potential desire for more career progress, or at least being able to find expression and fulfilment beyond the four walls of your home. I would not go so far as to say this has been a serious problem for you, but I believe your loyalty to this life has not always delivered the returns you expected.
I sense that from time to time you find yourself contemplating your more professional or academic instincts, and wondering if they could perhaps be allowed more room to flourish. I think this has been an area of conflict within you, and I foresee that you will take steps to resolve this issue within the next 18 months or so.
You often give yourself quite a hard time over mistakes and shortcomings which perhaps other people wouldn’t worry about. You have a tendency to be your own worst enemy in this regard, and this self-critical side to your character has held you back on more than one occasion.
Now for some reason I’m seeing significance with the end of August, something like the late twenties, the twenty-sixth of August, maybe a date close to that, and a man, related to you, or perhaps a friend or in your extended family, who wears glasses. Interesting. And I get the feeling that you are considering some sort of clear-out, something from your childhood - an old toy or memento perhaps? Those out of date medecines really should go in the bin you know!
That’s all I’m getting, if you would like to know more, please cross my palm with silver!
July 18th, 2007 at 7:47 am
I’ve been taking a look at how cold reading works lately. For my PhD I am working with a theory of communication called Relevance Theory that argues that human cognition is driven by the urge to maximize ‘relevance’. In other words to get the most effects from an input to our cognitive systems for the least amount of processing effort.
I’m working from the hypothesis that cold reading plays on this tendency. As humans we look for relevance in everything we see, read, hear or otherwise process. This is especially true when something is directed ostensively at us. So, when we are given a reading of this sort, our instinct is to make it relevant to ourselves and we fill in any gaps in context and make the necessary extra assumptions in order to achieve this.
You can see this happening on any TV psychic show (personally I do have an interest in this side of it). People will add any number of assumptions and make the most unlikely connections to find some relevance for the ‘reading’ in their lives.
According to my hypothesis cold reading is a manipulation of an innate human tendency which is essential to our communication strategies and arguable to our survival.
July 19th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Very interesting. Now I’m no expert on language and I know that every word we use has an internal meaning for each of us and that the more subjective the word, the longer the search that we must make internally to make sense of it.
Also as I regularly talk about, I’m a big believer in the thinker and prover theory which suggests in this context that we search for that which matches our view of the world (which is perceived through our experiences), rather than that which doesn’t. So when my “reading” suggests that you often think about people just before they ring you, you are more likely to have stored the occurrences than the number of times that it didn’t happen.
And then of course not to be forgotten is the hypnotic aspect of a reading. It is playing on your assumption that there is something otherworldly going on, which requires you to some extent to abandon or put aside the normally agreed rules of what is possible, hence opening you up to the idea that psychic readings are possible. This is combined usually with a set of very general statements that are designed to get a “yes” response. Research shows that “yes” has a physiological response that lasts for a finite time after the word is said (so does “no”, in fact all words effect states, yes however is a much more receptive state to be in). The more “yes” answers you give the more likely you are to respond yes to the next one (mind influences body influences mind). This “yes set” is a common influencial technique used by salesmen, and I have personally used it to put people in to trance. So this yes set actually sets you up physiologically to agree to the statements being made, gradually allowing you to accept as true (or search for the truth in) increasingly elaborate statements.
Interesting stuff. If you’d like to read the book let me know.