I was reading an interesting article yesterday about baby talk. That is some of the theories around how you talk to your children and how that affects them. There’s a lot of views on whether people’s “inner voice” in adulthood is very much moulded by the way parents talk to them as children.
Now I make a point of only giving positive encouragement to little Ben. Right from when he was wee, to the strapping 16month old now who seems to understand everything we say to him. And going back to when he first started to react to me, giving some feedback, I would be encouraging, tell him how clever and funny he was and how much Mummy and Daddy love him.
And its interesting because it would get a reaction, it would, despite me knowing better, seem as if he understood the words even from a few months old, and would react accordingly.
And then it dawned on me. Something that babies are really, really good at, is watching and listening. He was responding to something, but it clearly wasn’t the words I was saying.
He was watching me and listening to me. He was reacting to how the things I was saying were affecting me. Because everything we say and do affects everyone in the system. And at a time where Ben didn’t know what words meant, he was able to detect all of the subtle unconscious signals my body was sending out to let him know that these were good messages, messages of encouragement and happiness and love.
And I think we all have that skill to greater or lesser extent even as adults, that empathic ability to pick up on the unspoken emotions of people. And of course we can affect them. Affirmations aren’t things we say to ourselves only, the words we use to others not only affects them, but us too.
So I wonder how different your next interaction could be if you tell them how great it is to see them, heck if they ignore the words they’ll still be affected by how you feel…!
I feel all warm now, come on it’s time for a group hug….. 
