Helping people to make change, lasting change that really improves the quality of their lives, requires a great deal of trust and rapport between client and coach. After all, much of the work is done at an unconscious level, even without hypnosis. So being able to develop that trust quickly is very important. (There’s more on rapport specifically here.) Trust also develops when the client believes the coach to be competent and experienced, and a great way to demonstrate that is to be able to tell the client things about themselves that imply a “seen this before” experience in the coach. This maybe the case, or it may be a generalisation, or it might actually be cold reading.
So what is cold reading? Well Ian Rowland in his book describes it thus, “Cold reading is a deceptive psychological strategy. Among other things, it can be used by someone who is not psychic to give what seem to be a very convincing psychic readings. Cold reading is neither one single technique, nor one single procedure. It is better to think of ‘cold reading’ as the collective term for a set of techniques which can be used in different contexts to achieve different goals.”
Effectively it is a method of using ambiguity based on high probability statistics combined with elaborate wording and plenty of bravado on the part of the cold reader to handle any objections that come his way during the process.
Now I’m not going to say that this is what Psychics use. I neither know the answer to that question or feel the need to pursue an answer. I can, however, say with some conviction that i’m not pyschic. So cold reading could come in handy for me, and for many of you out there who want to communicate more effectively, persuade, influence or whatever you want to call it.
And should you be so inclined, Ian Rowland’s book would be a good place to start. He provides numerous example tools and techniques that can be used to deliver convincing “psychic” readings that would have many people threatening to burn you at the stake. The information is delivered in a matter of fact way, with examples of what works and what doesn’t, and methods to elaborate and really go to town with this stuff. The tone of the book and his view on the ‘psychic’ aspect is explained neatly by this quote, “I am not remotely interested in trying to ‘explain things away’, and nor is any other sceptic I have ever met. For me, being sceptical boils down to one thing: I like to believe in things that are true, and to avoid believing in things which turn out to be complete rubbish.’
He goes on to explain the “Cream principle” - offering a little information to get a reaction, and then gradually upping the ante as the client reacts and provides valuable feeback, both verbally and non-verbally, to the skilled observer, as well as the beauty of being ambiguous with time - whether you have this skill or the potential to have it, etc., etc..
I was surprised (though I shouldn’t really have been) to read that the process of cold reading effectively mirrors that of a coaching scenario which can, of course be generalised in to good practice for any communication, from advertising to a sales call.
He then provides some transcripts of cold readings that he has done, which allow you to spot the various techniques and phrases in his book, within the wider context of an actual dialogue. This is followed by tactics to block the cold reader from working on you, and finishing with his views on the practical applications of cold reading in the real world, such as selling and romance.
All in all I found this to be a fascinating book with many applications. It’s not one to read cover to cover, but to flick through, to try stuff out and return to at some later date to learn something new.
And of course I couldn’t possibly post this without providing you with my own psychic reading for your pleasure. So keep reading if you would like me to tell you something about yourself, and I’d love to know how accurate it is! (more…)
